Practical issues to explore

Were you responsible for making sure your student got up in time to go to high school?

If yes, let them become responsible for getting themselves up for work or for other responsibilities that they may have. This makes them accountable for their actions. This is one of the first decisions they will begin making immediately upon their arrival, and the roommate(s) will not be happy with 7:00 am wake-up calls if they are not required to get up!

Does your student know how to seek resources and/or ask for help? To this point, have you taken care of all the problems that arise on behalf of your student?

If yes, teach them how to seek resources and solutions for themselves. Have them make the doctor's appointment for their physical examinations, for example. Be there with them while they look up the number in the phone directory and ask for an appointment. Provide the feedback about how well they did. Remember, you will not be here with them if they should become ill and they need these skills themselves.

If someone wants to order a pizza, have your student make the call and give the order.

This may seem simple, but it forces one to consider the needs/wants of others, work within a budget, and be responsible for follow through. Experience with this skill may also make your student the hit of his/her new group of friends!

Is your student responsible for doing his/her laundry? Does your student experience the consequences of not having clean clothes when they are desperately needed?

Teach them and make them responsible for doing this! If their clothes are left in the dryer for a long time after the cycle is finished - then pick out one of your student's favorite shirts and hide it. Let them try to find it. When they ask you about it, you can produce the article of clothing and let them know that if they leave their clothes in the dryer or washer at school, they are likely to find those clothes missing! Also, resist the temptation to do their laundry during emergencies! Such events WILL happen on campus as well, and they need to learn to plan ahead.

Financial Management - determine a lump sum amount to give your student weekly or monthly.

Tell them they must buy their own personal supplies (shampoo, razors, etc.) and budget for their entertainment needs. Let this amount be just a little shy of the amount you think they may actually need. Ask them to keep an accounting of the money and that they may negotiate an increase if they can demonstrate their need for more. This will allow you to review their decisions regarding their use of money and encourage the negotiation skills that are necessary for them to employ with roommates and friends.

Be sure to include a discussion about credit cards. Your student will have numerous opportunities to establish a credit card in his/her own name. Discuss this possibility and how to responsibly manage a credit card. Parents are finding that their students are creating sizeable debt and incurring serious penalties if they are not responsible for its appropriate use. If your student does not already have a checking account, now may be a good time for them to learn how to manage such a responsibility. Don't assume that he or she knows how to handle one. Take the time for you or the personnel at the bank to explain the correct procedures in caring for and managing one's money.

Encourage your student to meet other new students and to get involved in organizations, clubs, and student employment opportunities as soon as possible.

Research consistently shows that students who get involved in their college community experience fewer problems in their transition, and are happier and more satisfied with their college life as a whole, than those who choose not to be involved!

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